


guilt is bound to the silence

by lilithiumwords



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Pre-Slash, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 14:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8330509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithiumwords/pseuds/lilithiumwords
Summary: Kei doesn't realize at first what the bruises mean.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been translated into Russian by TrianaNero! [You can read it here.](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5890746) Thank you!

One miserable day in November, the water heater for the bath at Kei's house breaks down.

"The maintenance man can't come by until Tuesday, so we'll all have to go to the public bathhouse for a few days," Kei's mother sighs, frowning down at the contraption. "You have practice in the evenings, don't you, Kei? I'll leave some money for the fee on the table for you. Hopefully they will fix it quickly."

Kei hides his irritation and thanks his mother. He doesn't much care for public baths, between the silent old men who gawk at his height and the occasionally wild children that run around until their parents catch them. At least, since practice gets out so late, he might be able to avoid heavy crowds.

Kei packs a small bag with his bath supplies and a change of clothes and takes it with him to school. With the Cultural Festival over and finals coming up in December, classes are progressing aggressively. Kei isn't worried about his marks, of course, but he won't have as much time to study this week if he has to visit the bathhouse.

Practice ends. Kageyama and Hinata argue about the best flavor of steamed bun from Sakanoshita before Hinata speeds off on his bike. Kei only watches him leave for a moment, following the bright blur of Hinata's hair as he glides down the hill, but Yamaguchi gives him a little grin anyway. Kei ignores him. Yamaguchi commiserates about Kei's water heater woes and waves goodbye to him cheerfully when they reach the street leading to the Sato family bathhouse, the only local bathhouse open this late.

The bath is, fortunately, nearly empty, no children or grumpy old men in sight. Kei pays the fee and takes his time in cleaning his body. He dislikes smelling like sweat, which is one of the few downfalls of taking part in an athletic club.

The last person is leaving the bath when Kei walks toward it, and Kei obligingly steps out of the person's way. A small shoulder knocks against his arm, and Kei scowls, realizing that someone has left their child here after all.

"Sorry, Tsukishima," says a familiar voice, and Kei starts and spins around, realizing that the blurry figure has orange hair.

"What are you doing here?" he asks out of shock.

Hinata looks over his shoulder, blinking. "Taking a bath? Well, I'm done now. See you tomorrow," he says with a smile, going to gather his toiletries before leaving the bath. Kei stares after him, bewildered that Hinata managed to finish his bath quietly enough that Kei never realized he was there. He hadn't seen Hinata's bike outside, but then again, he hadn't really looked for it, either.

As he sinks into the steaming water, Kei wonders why Hinata was here. As far as he knew, Hinata always rode his bike home, and surely he would have gone to a public bathhouse in his own town, rather than visit one this far away.

Kei is almost curious enough to ask him the next day, but he chooses not to. Best not to think about it.

Except he gets a text message from his mother halfway through the next day. _"The water heater isn't fixed yet. They didn't have the correct part for it, so it will be Friday by the time it gets fixed. Let me know if you need some more money for the bathhouse fee, okay?"_

Kei is not amused. Especially when he reaches the bathhouse that night and realizes that, once again, Hinata is also using it, except he is still washing his body off when Kei reaches the faucets.

"Oh, hi, Tsukishima," Hinata says in surprise, flashing a smile at him. It is too quick for Kei to believe it to be real. "Back again tonight?"

Kei manages not to scowl as he sits down and begins to clean himself, making sure not to watch Hinata rinse himself. If he can manage months of changing in the same room as Hinata, he can manage sharing a bath for a night. "The water heater at home won't be fixed until Friday."

"That sucks," Hinata laments, but he doesn't offer an explanation for his own presence, and Kei doesn't ask. The rest of the bath is silent; Kei pointedly does not look at his teammate's body, and Hinata doesn't pepper Tsukishima with comments or questions as he usually would. The silence would be nice, except for how awkward and stilted it feels.

Hinata enters the bath before him, and as Kei approaches, he notices a bruise on Hinata's back. He doesn't recall anyone hitting Hinata that hard during practice today, though he supposes it could have happened yesterday.

Hinata seems so lost in his own thoughts that he only realizes the time when Kei stands to leave the bath. "Ah, is it really almost ten? I should hurry home," he mumbles, though when Kei glances back, he sees that Hinata appears crestfallen.

"You really like the bath that much?" he asks without thinking, and Hinata looks up at him in surprise.

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Kei says immediately, drying himself off quickly and grabbing his tub of supplies. He ignores Hinata's confused stare and hurries to dress and leave. Hinata doesn't talk to him again, to Kei's relief -- and to his confusion as well.

Eyes drooped, small mouth fixed in a frown, his shoulders slouched as if the weight of the world rests on them. Kei never imagined he would see Hinata in a bad mood, but here it is. He doesn't know how to handle it; he almost wishes that Hinata would return to his usual normal, absurd cheer.

Kei has just turned on his playlist when Hinata rushes past him on his bike. Kei watches him ride away with a small frown, ignoring the small stab of guilt when he realizes that Hinata hadn't even looked at him. Perhaps he should have been a bit nicer... or at least more polite.

On Wednesday, Kei realizes that Hinata's withdrawn mood has carried over into class and practice, when Yachi enters their classroom with a small frown. Yamaguchi is immediately concerned.

"What's wrong, Yachi-san?" he asks, half out of his chair, and it takes all of Kei's patience not to roll his eyes.

"Oh, it's nothing," Yachi diffuses, but her frown persists as she hands them the joint practice schedule for the rest of the semester and engages in a small chat with Yamaguchi. When Yamaguchi asks again, this time more gently, she finally gives in. "Have either of you noticed anything different about Hinata?"

Kei looks up from his phone, his eyes narrowing. "Different in what way?" His interest clearly surprises both Yachi and Yamaguchi, but they don't comment on it, as some of their other teammates might have.

"Well, he just seems... quiet today," Yachi explains, her gaze dropping to the stack of paper in her hands. "He always comes by during break to ask me questions about homework, and he's usually very enthusiastic, but he wasn't paying any attention today. It was like this yesterday, too, but I didn't really notice because he was smiling the whole time... I just thought it was strange."

"He's been a little distracted during practice. He missed a lot of spikes yesterday, and Kageyama yelled at him," Yamaguchi offers, catching Kei's attention. If he hadn't seen Hinata last night, he might have scoffed and ignored this entire conversation.

His first thought is that Hinata is depressed over Kageyama. But... it doesn't seem quite right. "Maybe he's just sad his owner is mad at him," Kei says anyway, and Yachi and Yamaguchi's disapproving frowns are enough to make him look away. He wishes this conversation was over.

"I'm not really sure, Yachi-san," Yamaguchi says quietly. "Maybe if you ask him what's wrong?"

Yachi shakes her head. "I tried to earlier, but he just gave me this big smile and said it was nothing. Kageyama-kun doesn't seem to think anything is wrong, either... Maybe it's just my imagination."

"Maybe," Yamaguchi agrees, but Kei doesn't think so, somehow. He remembers Hinata's awkwardness last night. He tunes out the rest of the conversation, staring out the window as he contemplates Hinata's strange mood.

Even Kageyama notices the mood. He snaps at Hinata constantly during practice, and even grabs Hinata by the arm. Hinata's sharp yelp makes Kageyama let go immediately, though, catching everyone's attention, even Kei who looks up from his water bottle. Yachi and Yamaguchi exchange worried glances, as Kageyama approaches Hinata again; however, Sawamura materializes and separates the two of them by sending Hinata to practice with Ennoshita's group. The tension remains, though.

Kageyama tries to corner Hinata after practice, but Hinata easily escapes on his bike, riding down the hill and disappearing before Kageyama can catch him. Yamaguchi watches Kageyama storm off with a small frown.

"I guess it wasn't Yachi-san's imagination after all," he murmurs. Kei frowns but does not respond, and when he nears Sato's bathhouse, he sees Hinata standing beside the street wall, head bowed.

He does not look up when Kei approaches, nor when Kei stops in front of him. Irritated without knowing why, Kei lifts a hand and knocks his knuckles against Hinata's head. "Hey," he starts, but he is shocked into silence when Hinata shouts and scrambles back, knocking his bike aside and staring up at Kei with wide eyes.

Kei reads the fear in his expression and steps back immediately, giving Hinata his space. "Sorry," he mutters, averting his gaze, and after a moment Hinata carefully picks up the bike. The silence between them is heavy and awkward, and Kei has no idea what to say.

"Water heater still broken?" Hinata asks after a moment, pushing his bike over to the stand outside Sato's and locking it up. Kei pushes the door open, a small sigh escaping him.

"Yes. I told you that yesterday."

"Oh... right," Hinata replies, subdued, and Kei could smack himself.

He gives in to his curiosity. Hinata is acting too strange for Kei to ignore this any longer. "What about you? Don't you live in the next town?"

Hinata glances up at him, too quick for Kei to read his eyes, and shrugs Kei's question off, instead going to the counter to pay. Kei follows, and for a while he cannot get another word out of Hinata.

He realizes while they are lathering that Hinata has another bruise on his arm. He frowns at it for a moment, trying to remember if Kageyama had grabbed Hinata that harshly. In a flash he understands that the bruise must have been there before, and Kageyama had grabbed it by accident.

"Hinata," he calls quietly. "That mark on your arm..."

Hinata stiffens and drops his soap, staring at Kei in shock. Again, Kei notices that hint of fear in his eyes, more than the intimidation Hinata usually displays at meeting strong opponents. Something deeper, and Kei does not like it one bit.

"It's n-n-nothing," Hinata stammers, avoiding Kei's gaze again and picking up his soap. The bruise on his back has lightened, but Kei can see another one on his shoulder. They seem different than the usual bruises everyone gets from practice; even Kei gets small bruises on his hands while his sprains are healing. However...

"Hinata," Kei tries again, but Hinata pointedly ignores him, dumping water over his head and standing after he is rinsed. He avoids Kei's intent stare and hurries to the bath, where the last occupant is standing to leave. Even when Kei joins him, Hinata evades his questions with an expertise Kei finds suspicious, especially when Hinata manages to escape before Kei is even done with his bath.

Kei watches the small set of his shoulders as Hinata hurries away. He doesn't know what to think now; Hinata has never acted like this before. He has always exuded brilliant energy, infecting every one of the club members with determination and enthusiasm, whether they admit it or not. His depressed state, though, is affecting the entire team now, not just their small circle of friends, and Kei is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Except that on Thursday, Hinata appears to return to normal. He shouts and laughs and jostles with his friends and teammates, and Kei watches him with a narrowed gaze. Kageyama, Yachi, and Yamaguchi all act relieved, but Kei is not fooled, because not once does Hinata look at him the entire day.

Before Hinata can abscond again, Kei cuts him off with an arm in front of him, then has to catch the hood of Hinata's jacket when he ducks out of the way. "Is that any way to treat your teammate?" Kei sighs, tugging Hinata back and frowning down at him when Hinata makes a face at him. He avoids looking at Kei's face, tilting his head back as if he could see right over Kei's head. "Are you going to Sato's again?"

Hinata deliberates over answering for a moment, tugging against Kei's grip feebly before his shoulders slump in defeat. "Yeah," he answers quietly, and Kei dutifully lets him go.

"Then we can walk together." Hinata's wide-eyed stare is briefly amusing; Kei gives an answering smirk, and surprisingly Hinata's mien softens, his hands unclenching.

"I guess," Hinata sighs as if walking with Kei is the worst punishment in the world, but the corner of his mouth crooks in a grin, and Kei rolls his eyes.

"It's almost as if you don't want to spend time with me," he teases, following Hinata to the bike rack.

"Couldn't be," Hinata quips. Kei pushes his glasses up over a small smile, though his keen eyes follow the line of Hinata's shoulders and the hesitation in the glance he throws over his shoulder at Kei.

He will have his answers.

Yamaguchi joins them part of the way, bemused at the addition of Hinata but thankfully silent on that subject. Kei expects a confused text message later, but for now he will follow his instincts and keep Hinata in his sight.

"You don't have any trouble riding your bike up the mountain this late, do you?" he asks after they see Yamaguchi off, pulling his scarf a bit tighter against the night chill.

Hinata shrugs, head tilted back to look at the starless sky. "Nah, it's never been a problem. Sometimes if the weather is bad, I'll stay at a friend's house, but I'm used to it by now. I did it all through middle school, too."

"I imagine your family doesn't mind by now."

Hinata glances quickly at him, catching Kei's attention. "It can get kind of tiring, because I don't see them a lot these days, but it's alright. Besides, they're too busy right now. My uncle is," Hinata falters, his chin dropping slightly. "My uncle's visiting so they're busy entertaining him. If I get home really late and take a bath, the water heater is really loud, so I don't want to bother anyone." As Hinata talks, his eyes light up with some sort of realization, almost like a triumph. The grin he turns on Kei is nothing short of a lie.

"Oh?" Kei murmurs, watching a bead of sweat run down Hinata's temple, despite the northerly wind. "That's considerate of you. If only you put that much thought into your blocking..."

"Hey! I'm blocking as much as you now!" Hinata shoots back, and for a time, Kei allows the banter to hide what Hinata so desperately doesn't want him to know.

When Hinata is pulling his shirt off later, body angled carefully away from him, Kei still manages to glimpse another bruise on him, on his side where he might have bumped into a desk -- or been knocked into a wall.

He says nothing, though, and lets Hinata chatter while they wash up. He even looks the other way when Hinata flinches upon settling into the bath. No doubt the hot water stings his bruises.

It is clear to Kei now. How he will handle it is another question entirely.

It isn't until later, when Hinata is lingering in the doorway to the bathhouse, looking as dejected as a kicked puppy while Kei buys a bottle of milk, that Kei makes a decision.

"Here," he says to Hinata when he steps outside, pushing a second bottle of milk against his face. Hinata splutters and grabs it, staring at him with wide eyes, and Kei shrugs. "Look, you don't have to tell me anything. It's none of my business. But if you want to come and stay at my house tonight, I wouldn't mind, if you don't want to go home."

Hinata gapes. Something vulnerable shrivels in his expression, and Kei wishes he could speak to whoever gave Hinata the idea that he couldn't ask for help. He hides his irritation, for once, until Hinata finally stutters, "I d-don't... it's not that I don't want to go home, I just..."

"I said you don't have to explain it. Do you want to come? My mom would be happy for the company. She thinks I have no friends," Kei mutters, and it's with just enough exasperation that Hinata relaxes.

"Can't imagine why," Hinata says, more comfortable with every passing moment, and Kei rolls his eyes but starts heading home. He is pleased when Hinata follows him, one hand holding the handlebar of his bike while the other grips the milk Kei bought for him.

He ignores the shining smile Hinata flashes at him every so often. 

Friday is better. Hinata stays in a cheerful mood all day, and this time he doesn't avoid Kei. Not even Kageyama's bafflement and subsequent irritation at learning he stayed the night with Kei is enough to bring him down. Yamaguchi gives Kei a few thoughtful looks but doesn't bring it up while the others are around. He manages to corner Tsukishima during lunch, which is just as well, because Hinata and Kageyama are studying with Yachi.

"So Hinata spent the night with you," Yamaguchi says. The noise in the classroom is enough to cover their conversation, but Kei shoots him a look all the same.

He hesitates. He has not yet shared his suspicions, because there is no evidence. Just the bruises that Hinata continues to hide and his reluctance to return home. An uncle, visiting at the same time that Hinata is suffering. It seems clear in his mind. Would anybody else make the same connections though? If he told an adult, would they even listen?

"It's a little complicated," he finally admits, voice low to keep his worry from carrying. Yamaguchi catches it anyway and frowns, probably recalling their conversation the other day.

"Is he okay?"

It is a weighted question, and not one Kei can answer lightly. He doesn't know for sure, so he merely shrugs. Yamaguchi senses his reluctance anyway -- it has always been like that between them. Outside, the wind picks up, dark clouds threatening the skyline. If Kei remembers correctly, it is supposed to storm all night.

"Well, he'll be in good hands with you. Maybe you can use this as an opportunity to get closer to him, finally," Yamaguchi comments after a moment, grinning at him, and Kei rolls his eyes.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

When practice lets out, thankfully during a break in the rain, Hinata appears beside Kei with a bright smile, waving off Kageyama. Yamaguchi greets him cheerfully and the two chatter about some play Tanaka made as Kei trails behind them, heading down the hill, and when Hinata starts to turn off toward the bathhouse, Kei shakes his head. Yamaguchi stops beside him, watching curiously.

"My water heater was fixed this morning. I don't need to go anymore," he explains, and he feels a twitch in his cheek when the light in Hinata's eyes dies. How irritating that Hinata's moods can have such an effect on him. Why did he have to like this boy again?

"I forgot," Hinata says after a moment, gaze dropping, and he looks so pathetic there, so worried, that Kei cannot stop his next words.

"You could just come to my house and use mine, and I guess spend the night again. Since it's supposed to storm tonight." The excuse is so flimsy the wind would have blown it away by the time Hinata manages to close his mouth from gaping. He senses Yamaguchi's surprise but can't bite back the words now. He just hates seeing Hinata so despondent if he's not the one who has caused his angst. It's irritating. It's even more irritating that Hinata is afraid to go home and won't admit it. Kei is so irritated that he almost misses Hinata's mutter.

"He's leaving tomorrow morning, so..." After a moment Hinata looks up and smiles. "Sure! Thanks, Tsukishima!"

"Don't say it," Kei mutters at Yamaguchi, who is grinning at them both. _Does Hinata mean his uncle?_ he wonders but does not ask.

"I wouldn't," Yamaguchi whispers back, before he starts up his conversation with Hinata again. 

Hinata misses their exchange completely, and it is just as well that he smiles all through dinner with his family and the subsequent bath. Kei's parents are, as he predicted, delighted by another apparent friend, having little faith that anyone other than Yamaguchi can handle Kei, which is fair. Kei would never have picked Hinata, Kageyama, or Yachi to be his friends, not to mention the other acquaintances he has made through volleyball, but he is pleased at the small flush on Hinata's cheeks anyway when his mother thanks him again for looking after Kei.

A phone call changes everything.

Hinata doesn't seem to hear the faint music coming from his cell phone, fastened as he is to the volleyball magazine Kei let him borrow, until Kei nudges him and nods at his bag. Hinata lurches off the bed and grabs for his phone, laughing when Kei grumbles at being jostled, but his expression shifts and freezes when he opens the phone and answers.

"Uncle," Hinata says, kneeling on the floor and staring ahead. Thunder crashes outside. Hinata doesn't notice the noise, nor when Kei sits up, immediately at attention. "Um, I'm staying with a friend again. Didn't mom..." A male voice cuts him off, but Kei cannot hear what is said. Hinata blanches. "N-no, I didn't mean any disrespect, I was invited over and..." The voice interrupts him once more, and Hinata doesn't speak again. His lips pinch together as if he wants to object to whatever his uncle is telling him, but he remains silent. He sinks into himself a bit, flinching every so often. As if struck.

Kei lets it continue for maybe another twenty seconds, before he has crossed the room and is snatching the phone out of Hinata's hand.

"Yes, this is Tsukishima," he says smoothly, his smile too sharp for the caller to see, blocking Hinata when he springs up and grabs for the phone. "Can I help you?" Hinata stills and stares at him in shock, but Kei is beyond caring at this point.

"You'll come home immediately if you know what's good for you, or else I'll -- what?" a deep male voice slurs. "Tsukishima, you said?"

"Yes. My son Kei invited Shouyou-kun over for a studying session. May I ask who is speaking? I thought I spoke to Shouyou-kun's mother earlier." Hinata jolts beside him, but Kei is focused on the heavy breathing of the man on the other side of the phone, the telltale hints of too much drinking.

"My name is -- is Hinata. I'm the boy's uncle," the man replies, clearly too bewildered by Kei to bother yelling again.

"Ah, I see. It is good that you are looking after your nephew, but I'm afraid it is time for all electronics to be turned off in my house. I'm sure you understand," Kei smiles.

After a moment, Hinata's uncle starts blustering. "Now see here, it's my right to talk to my nephew --"

"I'm terribly sorry, but I must insist. If need be, I can speak to Shouyou-kun's parents again... are they available?"

"Well, they've gone to bed already," Hinata's uncle flounders, and Kei smirks, claws closing in on his prey.

"It is late after all. Thank you for calling, but Shouyou-kun will have to call his family in the morning. Good night." He hangs up before Hinata's uncle can react, closing the phone and handing it back to Hinata. He realizes his heart is beating fast enough to be audible -- he is _furious_. Hinata stares at him, eyes wide, his knuckles whitened from gripping his phone so tightly.

"What a prick," Kei mutters, and Hinata jerks, then amazingly starts to laugh, a bit hysterically if Kei hears right. He laughs and laughs, and Kei wonders if he is really alright, if he will be alright tomorrow. He will have to go home after all, and Kei won't always be there to protect him.

"You're really something," Hinata says finally, wiping a tear from his eyes, twinkling as he looks up at Kei. "I can't believe you really did that."

"I can't either," Kei sighs, shaking his head and picking up the magazine where it sits on the floor, folding himself onto the bed again. He stares at the glossy pictures as Hinata settles beside him, small knees digging into the bedspread, and he says nothing as Hinata leans in, warm shoulder brushing his arm.

"He doesn't visit a lot," Hinata admits to the silence, interrupted only by grumbling thunder and the steady drumming of rain on the window. "Maybe once a year. And at first it wasn't bad, he was just my uncle, but during middle school he got a little... odd. Saying I was too small and pushing me around. He didn't... he wasn't _mean_ until this year."

"You don't have to explain," Kei murmurs, but Hinata shakes his head.

"I think I need to," he tells his knees, and Kei does not miss the tremor in his voice. "I knew it wasn't right. I wanted to think it wasn't his fault, that it was just the alcohol, but my dad drinks the same amount when they go out and he's never hit me."

The last words are so small that Kei almost misses them. In those words he hears long nights of turning that surprise over and over, of never expecting that line being crossed. He hears betrayal in the hitch in Hinata's voice, the broken trust in an adult that should have cherished their family member instead. It hurts him to know that someone hurt Hinata like this.

He hesitates before putting an arm around Hinata's shoulders, ignoring the little noise Hinata makes, as if in disbelief. Kei doesn't quite believe his own actions himself. "It'll be okay." And it will be, if Kei has to find Hinata's uncle himself and warn him away from the family. He won't have to go that far, probably, since child services would step in before that, but his next hope is to convince Hinata to tell his parents.

If nothing else, Kei will be there for him.

"Thanks," Hinata whispers after a moment, and something in Kei's chest eases. He merely grunts and looks back to the magazine, listening to Hinata's soft breathing and glad that he didn't remain silent.

**Author's Note:**

> Visit my [tumblr](https://amberstarfight.tumblr.com/) for ramblings and fandom things. <3


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